I wasn't upset or anything at his lack of reaction.
Maybe someday I will leave him not anytime soon because the kids love him and I can't do that to them, we can still laugh together as friends but there is nothing romantic to our relationship, after realizing all this and letting go of it I feel a huge load has been lifted from me and I don't hurt anymore or even crave any attention anymore.
I tried and tried with brian, I asked him to go to counseling with me more than once and he said there was nothing wrong with him, he wouldn't go. And I kept on trying to explain what I needed out of this relationship and he never tried to change, so I moved on. I don't love him anymore, I think I did at one point but I slowly started to fall out of love.
Maybe someday I will find someone who can give me the attention and love I need but I'm not going to count on that, right now I am focusing on my kids and working on myself and that's all that matters right now.