| okay today |
[Friday
January 27th, 2006 at 7:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 numb |
] |
nothing too bad. woke up not wanting to wake up, feeling that depression hovering, but my guinea pigs needed me so i had to get up, once i got up everything went numb and just floated through the day.
im feeling numb right now, dont really feel anything, i can sense things, feelings, thoughts on the edges of this numbness, but its not surfacing.
maybe later i will do some writing.
right now im not going to do much but enjoy this numb feeling, i hope i dont start to feel as awful as i did last night, depression kicked me hard last night.
|
|
call me back
|
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| he touched my scars |
[Tuesday
January 24th, 2006 at 2:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
~The poem i wrote to describe how trent reznor's music is to me~
he touched my scars
inside
and like the emptiness i drowned in
i opened up to see
nothing
nothing there for me.
he bound my arms in silk
strong as a steel
smooth as water
wrapped me up
to touch the nothing
inside
he put in my ears
soft as fur
sound as being deaf
to hold his voice
in my head
to quiet the nothing
inside
he wrapped my mouth
taste sweet as strawberries
tight as a rubberband
so no voice could be heard
so the others could not
twist my voice into a sharp knife
to stab me in the back,
he silenced me
deafened me
bound me
up in my nothing
wrapped me up safe
in his nothing.
safe as the stars
so far away from human"kind"
so far away from nothing
so close to everything
so trapped in madness
trapped in silence
my feet are free to walk
a journey i have no power in
anymore.
i will sit as a prisoner
locked up in a world
full of the sad, kind, sweetness
he has wrapped me in,
each day i thank the unknown
that i used to know
for killing me.
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1 /call me back
|
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| nothing |
[Saturday
January 21st, 2006 at 8:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 irritated |
] |
nevermind. not feeling right. im hungry but dont feel like eating. i shouldn't ignore that i know. but i am. because i dont feel too good towards myself right now. i feel like trapped or something. and lost.
im going to go lay down, at least i can do that for myself.
|
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1 /call me back
|
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damagedswirl's journal
anxious
This journal has writing about my healing from certain trauma's in my life, but also random things too,its sometimes not a pretty world in here, and i made this journal friends only because i was becoming uncomfortable being way out there in the public.. so if you add me as a friend please write here first and let me know a little about you, even if you are just intrested or whatever, but yeah just let me know about you and stuff so i wont be so nervous. i like to know people. certain posts will be made public.
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